Saturday, January 10, 2009

~~Against all odds~~

I have been wrestling with the thought of mission ever since I passed my first subject at Global Universty ( I truly thank God for His grace, mercy and provision that lead me through the examination. When I am weak, He is strong; when I am poor, He make me rich). The following verse keeps reciting over and over in my head. I find myself indulge in the pursue of going out to the vast field God has created- mission field.

Matthew 9:37 - Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.

Things that used to matter me become insignificant, things that I enjoy most become less prominent. All of sudden, I find myself viewing thing from a totally different window. The scenery outside this window is borderless. It is so magnificient and marvelous that no word can give the full measure of its greatness. My scale of life starts to lean heavily on the other side of the world - a world that I never been, a world that I have no idea with. It sounds pretty similar to the call of Abram (before God rename His to be Abraham - a father of many nations). The instruction is simple, just go to the land that I will show you. Yet the struggle in my heart is great, there seem to be thousand and one reason for me not to go. What a great weight You have placed in my heart!

I start telling my Christ sisters and brothers that I wish to go for short-term mission, where ever that God has prepared a place for me. Days and weeks passed by, even when I am not in tiptop condition to go, even when I am not in my ever-ready, good to go situation, You are going ahead of me. You allow me to peep through the door of China and Domican Republic. At the same time, there is two open doors for mission at the same timing. Both going on April! There is no such wonderful collision and coincident in life except it is from God!

Before I can get over the decision of going for mission, right in front of me is a big T-junction. Each is unique and rich in its own culture. Either path that I choose to take will lead me to a place that I never dreamt of going, a height that I never expect to reach and a journey that I never anticipate to savior.

China - recommended by one of my newly met Christ sister who is staying at Dallas, Texas. She is not able to go with me. If i chose to go, I will have to go with people that I have no idea with. I might have to fly all the way from Albany to Texas alone and go with them from there. This half a globe journey is going to cost me twice the amount I needed compared to relative short journey to Dominican Republic. There are limited places for this trip and currently the vacancies kind of filled unless miracle happens...

Despite the fact that China should not be the choice based on human rational, God say go! Go with gladness and readiness to spread my Words. I will show you that nothing is impossible with me. Take courage! Matthew 21:21 - Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done.even when I say move to the moutain, the moutain will move. Ultimately, it is My name that will be gloried and honored. People around you will have a glimpse of My power and manifestation in You, and they will know that I am the God. (Father, let Your Holy Spirit reign, reign down on me. Create in me a humble and crystal clear heart that purely, solely and wholly for You. Take away all my selfishness and self-centeredness. I surrender all)

I start seeing myself sitting in a vehicle heading towards the place that You want me to be. The view outside the window is breathtaking and the environment inside my heart is flooded with thanksgiving and admiration. The best expression I can give is none other than staring in awe. No wealth and possession in the world is comparable to Your great love. It is far far exceeding anything that I can name of. When no word can express Your great love, I can only bow down in adoration.

Against all odds, I drafted out a letter tittle "HOPE" to ask for donations. Somehow, You keep convince me that it is in the darkest hour that Your light will be brighter and more shining. (Father, I pray that You will continue reveal the beauty, sweetness and satisfaction of following You in me. Unleash Your power and Your will oh Lord father. May You continue to go before me, cover the place that You want me to go with prayers so that whenever I open up my mouth it is You that do the talking, it is Your word that pierce through the inner most of their hearts, it is You that touch and transform lives. Father, I pray that Your seeds will fall on the right soil for You promised that those seeds are going to produce a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown in Your perfect timing. Help me to remain firm and sturdy in You. Help me to understand and accept the fact with full confident that even though I might be the one that water the seeds, it is You who is able to make it grow. Help me not to lose my heart when thing does not go my way and when times are tough. Help me to root and ground deeper in You in face of adversity. Show me how to love You and appreaciate Your love for me.)

** HOPE **

As most of you already knew it is my desire to go for short-term mission if there is a chance. Currently there is an open door to Yunnan, China. In this remote area, there is a group of people who are at the end of their rope, living in despair, discouraged and simply in need of the touch from God. This mission trip is a combined effort of Borger’s Baptist Church and First Chinese Baptist Church of Dallas (FCBC). This coming trip from 2 Apr-11 Apr 09 will be their 6th trip there. The main purpose of this trip is to provide medical care (mainly eye examination and oral examination) to the villagers there. For more information about this mission trip, kindly go to and select "Asia Video June 2008".

Some of you may ask why China? Why must I fly half of the globe to China? Isn’t there a nearer place where I can do the same kind of work, helping those in need? I can’t really give you a specify answer. All I can say is my heart sink and my tear refuse to stop at the very thought of not being able to go there. I can’t wait to transform those sulking faces to smiling faces though I won’t be there for long. I wish to join them leaping in joy and dancing in happiness... for just a moment... will you grant them this opportunity to do so? Will you give them one reason to smile in face of bleak future? Will you allow me to warm their hearts and touch their lives today? May I convey your love, care and concern personally to them? This is how much I wish this little dream of mine can come to pass. I thanked God for placing such a wonderful weight in my heart.

Sometimes I wonder what is the real meaning of life? Finally I got the answer. Deep in my heart, I long to be a hearts lifter, burden carrier and smile collector. I will try my best! ^.^

Shall we give those hearts a lift together? I may not know how much differences I can make, how great the impact is going to be and how many lives I can touch in this 10 day trip. But I promised I will try my very best to bring glimpse of sunshine to everyone that God put in my life.

I can’t do it alone without your generous support. I humbly seek for your help. No amount is too small. Please give as God leads you. Thank you.

His follower,
Agnes Tan

Father, will You grant me this opportunity to sent this letter out in due time?
While waiting for Your perfect timing, may You grant me the serenity to juggle between disappointment and anticipation. Give me the courage to continue walk with You fully by faith and not by sight.

Father, may You never satisfy my hunger, my thirst and my desire to know You more each day. May Your will be my will, Your purpose be my purpose, Your way be my way. I believed one day this burning desire that You have placed in my heart will come to pass.

**God will make a way, where there seems to be no way, He works in ways we cannot see. He will make a way for me** ~~ special thank to Lifang for this sweet and timely encouragement, AMEN!!!!

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