Thursday, June 18, 2009

~~Live to give Jesus away~~

Finally I am done with my final examinations (praise the Lord for that!!~~), finally I have more free time to put into words what have been lingered around my mind while I am studying the book of Corinthians. My heart sank when Paul, one of the apostle of the heart set free (thank you Bill for giving me a lovely book by F.F. Bruce of this title) pleaded to the Lord to take away a thorn in his flesh that tormented him yet the Lord said to him, " My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." What a mind provoking answer, isn't? Little do we expect, our Heavenly Father who always has the best interest in mind for His daughters/sons when it comes to such a sure YES request, the answer is quite the opposite. (Father, I pray that you will use the Holy Spirit to guide and to help me to unpack Your word accurately. I pray that You will continue breathe in better understanding and apreciation of Your word into our lives. Help me oh Lord, help me to know You and have a better grasp of Your truth. Open up our eyes to see You, our ears to hear You and our souls to learn from You. It is my desire to know You more and becomes more and more like You. Amen.)

Like Paul, like it or not, all of us have thorn(s) in our lives. It can be physical or mental torment. What kind of thorn(s) do you have in life?

Could it be the abusive spouse?
Could it be betrayal?
Could it be your loved one walk away from your life?
Could it be disease that torture your days and nights?
Could it be spouse/family members that turn away from God?
Could it be the death of your loved one?
Could it be poverty?
Could it be infertility?
Could it be abusive family members?
Could it be lay off?
Could it be the mounting debts?
Could it be children that go off track?

The list can go on and on. Whatever it might be, take heart my dear friend. God reigns and He is always in full control. More often than not, it is those thorn(s) in life that keep us going and help align ourselves with God. When we are rendered powerless by the situation, we will learn how to surrender, submit to and humble before God. When we are weak, then God is strong. It is on those darkest hours that God's power will shine all the more. It is also at that very moment, our pride, our boasting and our self-centred deception that hinder our fellowship with God will be completely shattered and destroyed. No wonder Paul takes delight in boasting his weaknesses and he boasts all the more so that all the glory will go back to God. By doing so, he not only set himself free from the predicatement, more importantly he finds comfort and rest in the Lord.

Problems will always come and go like the waves that hit the shore. Different seasons of life pose different kind of problem. The only different is have you learn to lean solely on God's power and not yourself? Have you put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand firm on your ground? (Father, I pray that you will help us to stand firm with the belt of truth buckled around our waists, with the breastplate of righteousness in place and with our feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all these, equip us with the shield of faith, helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God.)
Make an effort to dissociate and look beyond the surface of the difficulties of life and you might (in God's perfect timing) have a glimpse of His mystery and beauty of life He has for you. That's why from the very beginning we are teach to live by faith, not by sight (c.f. 2 Corinthians 5:7) The more you exercise your faith, the easier it will become to unleash your faith in God.
Like thorns of the roses, those thorns are important to protect and shield us from turning away from our great God. When God no longer be our top priority, what is left for our broken bodies? What hope and motivation of life do we have? What kind of future we are going to have?
Indeed underlying the answer that we perceived to be NO, there are lots more deeper and greater significant into it. There is always a reason for everything just that most of the times our puny minds are incapable of fathom the underlying mystery that God has instored for us. We are unable to see the whole picture of life. Only God has our blue print of life on hand and know what is the best for us. The question is in those dull and suffering seasons are you willing to live a life in such a way that we live to give Jesus away? Are you willing to follow Him daily? How much do you allow God to take you to the place that you never dreamt of going, height you never expect to achieve and things you never think of possible? What have you done in return of His great love for you? Have you chosen to lead a life worthy of His blood on the cross?

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

My little whispering to Abba, Father:
Father, I pray that You will grant me the peace and comfort to accept the fact that God gives and God takes away. In all circumstances, help me to have the discernment to acknowlege and recognize Your sovereignty and magnificient power. You reign forever.

"Jesus knows best"
Special thank to LiFang for sharing this with me =)

"I don't know about tomorrow
I just live from day to day
And I don't borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to gray
And I don't worry about my future
For I know what Jesus said
And today He walks beside me
For He knows what lies ahead
Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand"

~~Baptism testimony~~

Witnessed baptism lately, it reminds me of my baptism testimony. Would like to share this moment of turning point in my life with all of you. No fancy story, nothing to boast about and nothing to take pride of. It is a story about God who chooses to demonstrate His gracious power through me. When advance medical technology can't help, when brilliant doctors scratching their heads for solution, when no one seems to be able to assist, when the only resort I have is to knee down before Him... In this life and death moment, He listened to my prayer and made His light shine in my heart to give me the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

It goes like this...
"Before I become a Christian, I used to think that human has the power to change whatever circumstances they are in. They can achieve everything as long as they put in 100% effort. History does tell that with determination and hard work, Wright brothers had enable human beings to fly in the sky though this idea seems ridiculous centuries ago. However, I had a new perception on August 2006. Last year of that time I experienced the biggest crisis in my life.
I went to work as usual. Half way through the work, I realized that there was a tiny white dot that blocked my central vision. No matter how hard I tried to see, there was always a missing part. I quickly went to nearby polyclinic to seek help. I was soon referred to hospital because my case was special. I experienced sudden but painless monocular decline in central acuity. For almost a week, the consultant at the hospital was still unable to identify the root cause of my disease. I was like walking in a maze, to and forth the hospital, doing more and more testing. My vision deteriorated with each passing days. My imagination continued to run wild with lots of unpleasant and in fact scary possibilities. “Come on, let’s face the reality, you might become blind eventually,” my inner voice keeps pestering me. This kind of negative thinking keep haunting me days and nights to such an extent that I dare not close my eyes for fear that I might not be able to see the next minute I open my eyes. All the cares and consoles from my family and friends seemed so distant to me. I suddenly feel that I have no one to turn to except to Jesus Christ.

I can still remember vividly that was the first time I kneeled down to Jesus even though I accepted Christ some where in May 2006 after my best friend said a sinner prayer to me. I was in floods of tears. Again and again I begged Him to heal my eyes since human effort did not seem to work any better. After which, I decided to seek second opinion at Singapore National Eyes Centre. When we kneel down to pray, God actually bends down to listen. True enough, I met with a very good consultant and he managed to give precise diagnosis to my situation. I was diagnosed with Multiple Evanescent White Dot Syndrome (MEWDS). It is a rare, unilateral, self-limiting inflammatory eyes disease that primarily affects young women. According to the consultant, it is like chicken-pox but it happens inside the eyes. I was healed miraculously in few months time. "

When I am suffering, God reveals two things to me: His grace and His power – His grace to sustain me and keep me, and His power to deliver me. He waits until all hope outside of Him is dead so that I will know it is He who brought life where there was none. Sometimes He takes things out of our lives so that we will turn to Him to supply our need. No matter how much God blesses us, He wants us to acknowledge that we depend on Him. He uses the storms of our lives to accomplish that purpose. -- extracted from Stormie Omartian
Ever since that incident, I had a better understanding of what faith is all about. Faith is not demanding what we want; it is trusting God’s goodness in spite of life’s tragedies. I truly thanked God for granting me a vision far outweighs the temporary physical impairment. I am glad that this incident happened because the predicament actually draws me closer to Him.

~ ~ When we open our heart to the Lord, He opens our eyes to the lost ~ ~
Prepared by Agnes Tan Ah Har

Sunday, June 14, 2009

~~Faith, Hope and Love~~

Decoration on the wall ~~ Butterfly. Helen say she hope I will be ever growing, ever changing, ever becoming a more true and beautiful me in God's perfect timing. I nodding with tearful eyes....
Without God's compelling love, who has the ability to prepare such an out of the world meal? Today I have a happy stomach!! ~.~''
"I will miss everyone in Mountainview Evangelical Free Church too!!! Meet you all in prayer in future ya ^.^"
A wonderful handmade quilt by Jane. I love the little Agnes that surrounded by FAITH, HOPE and LOVE. Jane, thank you for giving me such a beautiful wing (it reminds me of the butterflies that putting up by Helen, another divine connection?...) Praise the Lord for such a patience and love to bind this together...
Another shot of the quilt...Little Agnes reading bible DAILY (my little promise to God), yeah!!~~ I got to press on from now on!!~~ =D
I love the verse very much ~ With God all things are possible.....
A little promise (faith, hope and love) that I love to carry and wear today, tomorrow and in future =)
*************************************************************************************
Just now Pastor Chad gave me a farewell party with the wonderful help and coordination of Kent and Helen Aldous. Those are the names that I never want to forget *sob sob*

Believe it or not, they (different wonderful givers) gave me the presents bearing these 3 same important words - faith, hope and love. They did not discuss or plan it before hand! It is simply a wonderful and beautiful divine connection! I leap with joy when I open the present one by one, see the same powerful words appear over and over again in this season of my life. God is in fact try to encourage me to live a life of faith, hope and love. I strongly believed that =)
Oh Lord, thank you for pouring so much kindness in my life. I would love to share with all of you some of the kindness thoughts that God has placed in my mind right now:
A little kindness that seems to be insignificant and unimportant to us might have the power to overturn a life and death situation on the other parties. A timely encouraging words might change the suicidal thought that mingle in someone's mind. An opportune advice might stop the abortion from taking place. A heart-warming greeting might momentary ease the pain of the cancer patient. An outstretched and open arm might bring the go astray son/daughter back home. A small treat might fill the stomach that starve for days. There is no kindness that is too small to leave an impact in God's hand. More often than not, it is those add up small favor/offer that leave long and lasting impact in someone else life. Our God is an able God. He is able to multiply such a beautiful seed thousands and millions times. Most importantly, people will come to know God in His perfect timing.

Photos on that day:

Whispering to Abba, Father:

Father, I pray that You will continue to help me lead a life concentrate and saturate with faith, hope and love. I pray that the overflowing of joy knowing You will continue to spill over to whoever that comes across my life. When they see me, they will feel your manifest presence in my life. Father, I might not be the most beautiful, most perfect and the best among your daughters and sons but I promise I will give my very best in return of Your great love that You have poured out in my life. Father, I pray that You continue to bestow mountain-move and child-like faith in me. I long to be like David and the little child that only have five loaves and two fishes who chose to give it all everything that they have to glorify and honor You. Today once again I am overwhelmed by Your great love demonstrated by the people that love You. It is Your compelling love that propels and enables us to love each others with the same magnitude of love You have given us. God is love indeed. No wonder Jesus has the ability and will to obey You till the point of death. It is the same kind of surpassing love and overflowing blessings that make Paul considers everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus our Lord. In fact, what was glorious has no glory in comparison with the surpassing glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.... "every knee will bow and every tongue will confess you are the Lord.." Let this wonderful song continue to play lively in my life, oh Lord. I love You. MORE You and less me; INCREASE You and humble me. That's all I ask for. Amen

~~He calls us by name~~


" Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5

I am not born to be a speaker but God say "I will put my words in your mouth."
I am just a child but God say "I will make you to be who I want you to be."
I am afraid but God say "Do not be afraid for I am always with you."
I am tired and wore out but God say "Come, and I will give you rest. My burden is light."
I think it is impossible but God say "With me all things are possible."
I am sick but God say "I will heal you."
I don't know how to love but God say "God is love. I will show you how to love."
My soul is so restless but God say "I will give you peace."
My body is broken but God say "I will make you whole."
My mind is so empty but God say "In me you will bear fruit."

Those are just few excuses that I use most of the time especially when it comes to do His work. Again and again, He convicts and proves to me that He is able to transform me through and through. (though He really don't have to set aside so much time on me...who am I that You are so mindful of? The reason is as plain and as simple as You love us, every single one of us. God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son. Whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. I can only bow down in adoration.)

I have been "dreaming" of having my own stage and audience for quite a while. I hope to preach with great confident, to shine His radiant, to spread His fragrant and aroma to whoever that has ears. Little do I know that every little imagination, every little dream, every little prayer that I whisper is fully heard by Him. Even when I don't feel it or hear it, God is always at work. He is a great mastermind behind the scene. On 11 June 09, He presented me my 1st stage - Auditorium at my workplace. Though I have to present work-related topic (Chemistry), I am so thrilled and excited about it!!! It is a place that i wish I can be the speaker all the time. God is gracious and mercy to me. By leaning solely on Him, He calms my nerves and guides me to deliver my speech beautifully. Once again, He did it for me!!~~ I love you Lord.

Photos on that day:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=82678&id=576088539&l=1d415e2214